Sometimes when we clear or remove things or people from our life, it feels very uplifting. But sometimes, it can feel scary and disconcerting.
I remember when I left an unhealthy relationship years ago, so much had been cleared and removed.
There was so much room inside me now that I was free, and I felt emptier and more vulnerable than ever before.
I was so used to living in chaos and being filled with anxieties and fears. Suddenly, without those fear-based thoughts and energies, I felt almost lost. I felt sad and very empty.
This was an adjustment I hadn’t planned on.
The entire weekend I wracked my brain for ways to fill the gaps inside me. Maybe the angels could fill me with more light? Maybe I could read some inspiring books? Maybe I could take a walk in the sunlight and be filled with the warmth and energy of the earth? Maybe I could love, love, love, love, and love my son, my parents, my friends, and the world til I was all filled up again?
I thankfully had a phone call with a very trusted friend. I cried on the phone to her, describing how I felt and begging her to tell me what to do.
She laughed sweetly and said, “Nothing, Lauren. You don’t have to DO anything. You just have to be.”
This sent an energetic awakening running through my system.
She went on to say, “This emptiness that you’re talking about inside you, maybe it’s not emptiness. Maybe it’s bliss. And you just don’t recognize it because you’ve never felt it before.”
I was shocked. Bliss? Wasn’t bliss supposed to be the most illuminating joy radiating from every part of your being, bursting through the atmosphere like a blazing sun of triumph?
No.
That’s not bliss.
I realized then that all of this space inside me was not emptiness. It was room for me to grow. It was finally room for me to breathe. It was room to be. And that’s what bliss is.
Before this, I lived every moment of every day in a crushing reality that encroached on me, suffocated my personality, stifled my dreams, and bore down on my strength and insight like a ton of bricks. I had lived from crisis to crisis, allowing someone else to fill my bones, body, and breath with chaos because it felt real and because that’s what I knew and understood. It was familiar territory.
And now I had let all of that go.
That’s when I realized that letting go is actually receiving.
It’s okay to feel okay. It’s okay to feel the space inside you, the ease between your organs, and the air around your bones. It’s okay to let your shoulders relax and your elbows untighten.
It’s safe for you to receive.
It’s safe for you to breathe.
It’s safe for you to believe in a better tomorrow because it’s already come today.
Most people don’t know what to do with freedom. Many people in the world have never experienced it. It can feel very disconcerting to receive it. And freedom in history hasn’t always worked out as planned. Many fascist and communist governments that fell ended up giving overnight freedom to masses of people who didn’t know what to do with it. They felt desperate. They felt overwhelmed. They felt exposed. They felt vulnerable. And ultimately, most of those countries fell back into those same horrific institutions. It’s because they had no one to guide them.
Just because you give someone freedom doesn’t mean they know how to survive on their own with it. It needs to come along with education, self-worth, patience, drive, strength, and a lot of unconditional love.
Why do you think so many people end up in abusive relationships again? It’s because although they received freedom and they survived, something kept pulling them back to that familiar, dangerous territory.
Much like our prison systems and steps for recovering addicts, there needs to be more healing programs and guidance for people and children who escape abusive situations. More and more organizations are seeing this and trying to do their part. But society needs to do their part, too.
That means looking upon these individuals not as victims, but as survivors. It means pointing to the situation and offering empowered compassion, not blaming them for the mess they found themselves in. It means showing up, offering a hand, and guiding them toward a better tomorrow.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of the victims of abuse, the abusers who recovered, the codependents who healed, the mentors who mentored, the first responders that responded, the addicts who overcame, and the loved ones that stood by.
Thank you for being shining examples of hope, perseverance, and bliss. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for being.
Unconditional Love and Light,
Lauren
If you’d like to learn more about energy work or schedule a session with me, please visit my Services page or contact me.