For years, I had heard about people and the miraculous ways they discovered their tribes. I couldn’t understand why after 30 years, I hadn’t found mine.
But then, at 32, I met them.
It wasn’t in a way that I expected. It wasn’t people I ever imagined. It was no one who ever knew me before. We just ended up in the same place at the right and perfect time. They are some of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met.
I can see now that I had to wait all those years to find them. We all had to go through the trials, the battles, the confusion, the weariness, the sadness, and the search to ultimately find each other. If we hadn’t learned the lessons we learned or experienced what we did, none of us would be who we are and we wouldn’t have met.
What I’m most excited and surprised about is that my tribe is filled with guys.
I was always dreaming of that perfect Babysitters Club fantasy of having a gaggle of gals that got along and wanted to do the same things. I haven’t found that yet.
But what I did find was the most extraordinary, strong, compassionate, authentic, and beautiful souls I’ve ever met. They are who they are because of the mission they’re on. They chose this life and this path because they had work to do here. Although these men are warriors and masculine beyond belief, they have some of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen.
I never knew that masculinity could hold such light.
Their love and compassion for me (and the things I’d been through) was strong and fierce, but also gentle. It felt like a warm breeze that held deep strength and courage within it. They held space for me as they learned of the struggles I went through and the trauma I had witnessed. They listened when they heard of the fears I still had. They loved when I told them I finally felt at home here, knowing them.
The way I heal through these powerful men is strikingly different from the ways I’ve healed with women in my life.
These men hold a grace in their strong hearts that I had never seen before. I am so blessed to know them and have them in my life. Now that I know them, I cannot picture my world without them. This is especially so for my two male friends who are veterans. I never imagined I would be this close to veterans, purely because I’ve never encountered that many. But at the end of our healing circle where we met, I had the courage to tell them a very big Truth.
When I first moved back home into my parents’ house with my newborn son, the Angels told me to make a vision board. I didn’t want to and I really put it off until the last possible moment.
Finally, one night, I sat down and started flipping through a pile of my mom’s old Martha Stewart magazines. I randomly began cutting them up, barely paying attention to what I was doing or the images I chose. It just had to be a board of stuff, right? I didn’t even think about it. I just did it. It was as though my mind wasn’t even there.
After I was done and everything was posted to the bulletin board, my mouth fell open at how beautiful it was.
Somehow, even without thought, this vision board showed the life I truly wanted. There was love, joy, purpose, strength, courage, devotion, and light in every piece of paper.
I was very pleased when I was done and set it aside to hang in the morning.
But the Angels insisted I wasn’t finished. I looked at the board and said, “What do you mean? Everything’s on here. Every aspect is covered.”
They shook their heads, saying, “You need to add a yellow ribbon.”
“What for?” I said.
“You need to add a yellow ribbon for the military,” they said.
I told them I didn’t know anyone in the military. They didn’t respond. It had to be done. So I did as I was told and added a yellow ribbon to the board.
For a year and a half, I stared at this vision board every day and wondered why that ribbon was there. Now I know. It’s there for all of the warriors I was going to meet this year and all of the warriors I’m going to meet in the years to come. These beautiful men, the veterans and the spiritual warriors, were meant to come into my life. Because I chose to walk this path and because I chose to survive, I was blessed with these amazing light warriors in my life.
The healings, the growth, and the love that I’ve learned from these men far outweigh any hardship I went through before I met them. I needed to go through those trials and they needed to go through their wars. We were meant to grow and heal together, in ways we’re both conscious of and unconscious of.
That’s the beauty of this world. Every moment is another moment to love, grow, and heal.
It would have been easy to make judgments about these men. Their masculinity, strength, backgrounds, and even their tattoos all tell stories about them. But those stories are just chapters in a larger work of art that’s their Higher Self.
For all of the “packages” that we have in this life (gender, race, class, occupation, etc.), we chose to take on these forms and do this powerful work. It’s when we look beyond these visuals that we really see, feel, hear, and know the souls that are sitting next to us on this wild journey we call being human.
So take a deep breath and get to know the person next to you. I think you’ll be surprised at what you learn about them and yourself.
Unconditional Love and Light,
Lauren
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